so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
