are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
