Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
