Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
