D3 body, D1 cock
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am naked and annoyed.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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