They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
