I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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