walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
