I CAN MOONWALK!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He better not be in your backpack
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
