Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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