hotel room ftw
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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