I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
