Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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