Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
