Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize