He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
