dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
