Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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