i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sober January is a disaster.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
