happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
