Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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