It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
