it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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