HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
