We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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