Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You did what with his pubic hair?
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