so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize