No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
