My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
