Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
