I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
