I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
