just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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