oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
