chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
