Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You are the jesus of drinking
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
