You made me cry and you don't even care
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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