A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He better not be in your backpack
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
