Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
