Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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