I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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