Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I need water and some morals
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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