Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
