Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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