Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
