Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
