It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
