Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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