our cab driver is having phone sex.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
