Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
