also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
