so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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